Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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