A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize
