But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
