Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
