Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
