im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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