You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
