Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
