Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
