Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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