I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
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