he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
