He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
