how can u be prego again
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
My ass is underappreciated
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
