If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Randomize
