Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize