All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
