You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
