if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
