You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
You ruined the universe
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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