I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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