That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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