We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
