i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
