just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
