Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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