I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
