Sponge bath it is.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
