I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize
