He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
