break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
