So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
