Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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