The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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