how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
