We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Never let your siblings swipe right.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
