I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
she peed on how many people?
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
