According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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