Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
