Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
