if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
