What did we do last night that was yellow?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
