I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
