id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
