We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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