is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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