I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I have feelings that need drinking.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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