your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize