This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize