Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize