I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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