I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
The adults are the big ones right?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
