Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
