It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
