She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
