the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
