Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
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