what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
