she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Randomize
