All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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