peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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