you guys were way drunker than both of me
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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