she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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