Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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