so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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