I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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