Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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