69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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